Day #8692

KateGoes…to Digestive Press

Today Digestive Press offers you something completely different from our normal.  To celebrate the end of February and the release of the ‘Happy Dancing EP’ by one of Digestive Press’ favourite bands, KateGoes, we were granted an interview with head Kate, Kate Thompson. For those of you who don’t know, KateGoes are a whirling, manic entity, half rock band and half crazed dressing up box.  They hold the keys to a world full of dinosaurs, kung fu and snot in which each gig is like an episode of Mr Benn (with squeegees).

– Hello Kate, how are you today?
– I’m crap, I messed up going to Pertemps to sign on and look for *ptah yuck* work and they’ve given me one last lifeline. The lifeline is ask the audience. I already used up phone a friend and 50/50. I wonder what they’ll tell me to do?

– What is KateGoes’ favourite biscuit?  Do you all have similar taste or do you fight about biscuits a lot?
– I know a band who had a competition each practice to see who could buy the nicest biscuits. This question has reminded me to see if they want to do this in KateGoes but saying that, Baker Beth Hopkins is a remarkably good cake maker and caters for cafes, parties and band practices! Personally I like all biscuits, the bigger the selection the better, I mostly like jam and cream and pink wafers and peanut toffee ones.

It was not biscuits that made this interview possible but cakes.  I had never taken a present for a band before but KateGoes are the kind of band that make you want to make them cake.  So I did.  We missed the gig due to a temporal mix up but still delivered the cake to Kate and a few emails later she had branded me a ‘crunching munching biscuit madman’ and agreed to answer a few questions.  It should be noted at this point that some years ago I decided that writing about music was not really for me as I found I had an inability to describe music and it was far more fun to write about made up stuff.  So, sorry about that.  Still, some bands demand to be scribbled about with the same kind of barely comprehendible enthusiasm that the band themselves put into their live shows.

– My favourite KateGoes song is ‘kung fu movie.’ Which is yours? why?
– My favourite is Don’t Overanalyse because of the clarinet line. Also it is one of our best arranged songs I think and the lyrics actually make sense even though I find it very hard to not Over Analyse at least I know what I SHOULD be thinking.

– Please provide a short burst of love/enthusiasm for another contemporary artist:
– Betty and the Id and Misty’s Big Adventure.  Both from Birmingham. The most excited and happy I get at the moment is when I can see and hear these bands.
Betty and The Id (www.myspace.com/bettyandtheid) are awesome live grungy garagy 60’s rock like Love and The Monks.  I strongly recommend the Grumpy Fun and Grumpier Fun tour CD’s by Misty’s Big Adventure (www.myspace.com/mistysbigadventure) and the Minute Melodies by Grandmaster Gareth (www.myspace.com/grandmastergareth).

The mention of Misty’s Big Adventure comes as no surprise as the two bands have often been touring partners and Grandmaster Gareth, Misty’s lead man has produced KateGoes records.  Indeed, the first time I saw KateGoes was at a Misty’s fancy dress gig which explained why the five-piece were all dressed up as Misty’s songs and why Kate, a hyperactive force behind the keyboard, was sporting a cardboard box microwave, complete with door, on her head.  It should also be explained at this point that each time KateGoes play a gig they ‘go’ somewhere.  The next time I saw them they had gone to the seaside and played in old fashioned bathing suits and fishing gear and even ‘went fishing’ midway through one of their songs.  A number of people looked somewhat confused.  Perhaps I should have asked about that.

– Could you please explain the lyrics, “flibba dom dom flibba doopa doo, flippa doopa du flubba dubba dum dum dum, tinky tonk, tinky tum dunky dum flinky dink flukky doo flikky dee ping ping pong?”
– It is my Hi Yah! If I was in a Kung Fu Movie they are the noises I would make as I swung, limp bodied through the jungle and rustled along the ground disguised as a lump of grass on some string.

– What would be the single most useful thing about having detachable arms?
– It would reduce a large amount of tension on the shoulders.

I think the best thing about detachable arms would be being able to take them off when you go to sleep so that they wouldn’t get in the way.  But then, I just like the whole idea of detachable body parts (when I’m in a good mood and wandering around the house or to the shops I find myself singing, “it would be insanely cool if I had detachable arms, detachable arms.”  I’m singing the words wrong but they just stuck that way).  But KateGoes aren’t all detachable arms and man-killing left eyes.  ‘Heartbeat’ is their icky, sicky, snotty love song that makes you want to grin manically through the vomit which could be caused equally by the lovey-doviness of it or lines like, “breathe me in, your snot will come out when I sneeze.”  Either way it is a beautiful moment.

– If you were to dj for a room full of one type of animal which animal would you most like it to be?
– I’ve thought about this one.  I’d DJ punk to porcupines so I could see what it would have felt like in the clubs and pubs back in the day.  Porcupines look a lot like punks. Porcupunks.

– When I’ve seen you play you’ve ‘been’ to the seaside and to a milliners. if time, money and reality were no object where would you most like KateGoes to ‘go’ to do a gig?
– KateGoes….Underwater. I dream about this gig. I love thinking about it. I’m thinking about it now in fact.

That would indeed be fantastic.  Thanks Kate.

– Kate Goes new EP ‘Happy Dancing’ is out now and available from Fopp or from their own website, http://www.myspace.com/kategoes
-Misty’s Big Adventure play Manchester Academy 3 on Saturday with Betty and The Id and Abie Budgen.

Round and Round

He rounded the bend and the straight opened up ahead of him. This was the part of the track that Blan-Blan Pastishuini was used to, the part that he usually cleared in ten seconds and could then stop and recover. Not today though, he staggered down it, his legs well aware that instead of running for ten seconds he had been at it for half an hour already. His body felt too heavy, as though he were a rhinoceros with the legs of a chicken. He was so far behind now that there was no point in continuing, but he had run so far that there seemed little point in stopping either. So he just continued round and round.

Body Modification #3

It was 3am on a Saturday morning and Joseph was slumped in front of the television, ploughing his way through another packet of plain chocolate digestives. He had found that they tasted different depending on which way up you held them. Indeed, he was learning all kinds of new things now. He patted his rounded belly.

It hadn’t always been like this. For the first twenty three years of his life he hadn’t even liked biscuits. Sweets, chocolate, cake even but never biscuits. They just didn’t appeal to him. Back then he had a social life but that all seemed rather distant now, and a little sad.

Beards

One morning I awake to find that in the six and three quarter hours in which I have been asleep I have grown an improbably long, thick and woolly beard.  I then discover that all three of the jumpers I own have inexplicably vanished in the night.

It is a hot day and I hurry down the road to work, my face sweating from the heavy wool obstruction on my face.  People in the street seem fascinated and stare at my chin so I nip into a shop and buy shaving foam and a razor.

My Family And Other Biscuits: A Boy’s Diary, Entry #1 “Chocolate Fudge Crunch Creams”

On Saturday morning I awoke at around seven o’clock, yawned and squirmed in my itchy bed.  My bed was full of crumbs from eating biscuits the night before and a couple of seconds after waking I had pulled the packet of Custard Creams from under my pillow and was biting into one to taste the creamy filling.  It was a bright and sunny Saturday morning – no school, nobody awake, a world of opportunity.  I had plans to make the most of the day but the custard cream I was eating was not helping me as they are not biscuits which inspire sudden movements.  They make me think of jumpers, crosswords, relaxing in bed.  I considered about curling up in bed with my stomach full of Custard Creams and falling back asleep for a few hours.

No!  I used the momentum, climbed out of bed and dove straight underneath and into the cupboards below.  I stuck my head and shoulders in and turned on my torch, running the beam over the insides of the cupboard, my favourite sight to start the day with. 

Body Modification #2

Matthew went for an operation to reduce the size of his head.  He had always felt self conscious when he was unable to wear hats or when he struggled to fit through doors.

The surgeons were working to the fruit scale.  “Just say when,” they instructed and began the shrinking.  It was not an unpleasant feeling.  Soon Matthew’s head was smaller than a watermelon and he was enjoying the process.  Pineapple, mango, orange, his head got smaller as Matthew was lost in the pleasure of the procedure.  When he finally said, “when,” his head was the size of a grape.  Unsure that this was what he wanted he thanked them anyway and left, feeling a surge of joy as he exited the hospital through the front door without any problems.

Valenstein

February 14th.  The giggliest day of the year.  I hid in the girls cloakroom, sat on a bench with my knees pulled up to my chest and my coat draped over me.  Just because I was ten years old and a girl didn’t mean I liked being around other ten year old girls.  Especially not on this day.  From my hiding place I could hear a gaggle of them cooing over various boys and the unmistakable tones of Penny Harbright announcing that she had won the affections of Ramekin Hummus.

Ramekin was the new boy at school and in the run up to Valentine’s Day there had been much speculation about which girl would be lucky enough to be chosen by him.  They were all keen to uncover the secrets of his Eastern mystery and find out if he really was a Prince as he had claimed.  I, for one, was dubious about this.  “Have you not heard of the Hummus Empire?” he asked, “or the great House Of Hummus?”  Unfortunately the House Of Hummus was all the way in East Didsbury, too far for any of us to go and see.

It’s Not The End Of The World

I had only popped out to buy a bottle of wine to drink whilst I watched Neighbours.  Karl and Susan were going through a rough patch and I knew I would need a bottle of red to get me through a traumatic twenty five minutes.

I had chosen a bottle and was in the queue at Bargain Booze when the girl behind me tapped me on the shoulder and told me that the world was going to end that night.  She had manic eyes and a tattoo on her face.  If anyone knew about the end of the world it was this girl.  I bought the wine anyway.

Photography Series#1

Digestive Press is proud to unveil the first contribution of our snapper Suzanna Law – a special biscuit portrait to celebrate our first week online.

Refrigeration

In the middle of the night I venture downstairs with the intention of making a salami sandwich as a midnight snack. I have not eaten in several days and am dismayed to discover that my fridge-freezer has broken and all my food is now rotten.

I must buy a new one and so make a trip to the local refrigerator shop. I am looking for a big, tall one as, although I live alone and rarely eat I hope that a tall fridge may help to intimidate potential burgulars. After searching for several hours I find a suitable appliance tucked away in a dark, dusty corner of the shop. The assistant tells me it is a very good fridge.