Jaori Loverduck’s Fast Chicken

Following Jaori’s debut cookery column last week Digestive Press were inundated with letters of support for our new chef.  I’m glad that you all think he is as special as I do.  Some of you wanted to know where we found him and sadly I cannot answer that question as I have yet to be able to make contact with any of the array of fine restaurants on his impressive list of references.  Still, he tells me that he is set to star this week on the BBC’s ‘Asparagus Weekend’ which will run on BBC 39.  I’ve never heard of this channel as I only get terrestrial but those of you who have extra-terrestrial, please remember to tune in.  Jaori still found time to pass on to us this exclusive chicken recipe. 

Jaori Loverduck writes:  “Before specialising as a fish chef I used to keep chickens.  I replaced them with fish as more of them would fit in the tank and they didn’t seem to drown so easily.  Most of the chickens did not take well to the water but  I did have one chicken who was an excellent swimmer.  I used to call him Jaori Loverduck’s Fast Chicken.  Well, that was the name I used when I entered him in competitions – the 100m chicken breast stroke, the race he won three years in a row from 2003.  Away from the pool his name was Pedro Chicken.  Anyway, the recipe I am going to teach you today is not Pedro but merely a chicken dish which is very fast to prepare. 

So here we go – to begin chop and fry some onions.  Nothing sets the scene like a fried onion so this is a good way to start many dishes.  It smells nice too.  Throw in small pieces of chicken and fry with the onions.  If you would like to add further vegetables – mushrooms, peppers, etc – please do.  Now.  Mango.  Take a tin of mango pieces and crush into sludge or mush with your fingers or a fork and then add to the mixture along with some curry powder and wholegrain mustard.  Mix in for a lovely spicy fruity chicken curry effect. 

Chop glace cherries in half and add a handful to the mix, throw in some pineapple chunks and perhaps some kiwi.  Mix in thoroughly over a low heat.  The idea of the dish is to create a disorientating effect – is it a curry?  is it a fruit salad?  If you wish to swing the balance one way or the other add more fruit (banana or pear) or more meat (bacon or beef).  When you are happy with the dish take it off the heat.  To finish it off and give it a lovely creamy texture add two spoonfuls of custard from a tin and mix in thoroughly.  Serve with a sprinkling of paprika on top and a bread roll.”

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