space, being infinite and huge, can be mind-boggling and confusing and enough to leave you stuck firmly to the earth, staring up at the sky, dribbling. it is really just a collection of rocks in a big dark space, a little like a miniature rockery in a compost-filled wok. it was on one of these rocks, a nice big red one, that a moustachioed gent had just landed his wonky little rocket. he exited the rocket and, once he had found his planet-feet, removed his helmet. his moustache, freed from the cramped conditions, sprang back to life and acclimatised itself to this new place. it was a wild thing out here in space.
the red planet seemed to be pretty normal – red rocks, red worms, red hills, red plants growing in red pots, red moons. no people or aliens (whatever they may be). the moustachioed gent felt his head was a little looser than normal but this did not concern him. he looked around and smiled to himself for a few hours as all explorers do on landing somewhere new.
the moustachioed gent had not forgotten to pack a big basket of sandwiches and now he retrieved it from his rocket, sat down on the red sand and tucked in. there were all kinds of sandwiches – avocado, uvacadu, evicide, avicida, oovucaadi, ivacyda. earth vegetables in earth bread on a different planet. the mind boggled. the moustachioed gent applied marie rose sauce.
all was still on the red planet but for the moustachioed gent happily munching his sandwiches…
he finished his sandwiches.
[that’s the end of the story. if you feel this is unsatisfactory then here is what i suggest – make yourself an avocado sandwich, find a red blanket to sit on and put on a false moustache (unless you already have a real life moustache) and pretend to be the moustachioed gent. you will soon experience the peace of eating sandwiches on a red planet and realise that there is no need for any further plot. please just leave the poor man alone to have his sandwiches.]