The Emergency Umbrella Rope Poem
There are so many things in the world
to be scared or sad or worried about.
But there is never anything to worry about
when you have an emergency umbrella rope.
Compact! Waterproof! And easy to use!
Scale a wall! Lasso wandering buffalo!
Keep yourself dry! Fly above the rooftops!
The emergency umbrella rope – on sale in all good shops.
AND NOW – from the people who brough you
the emergency umbrella rope – there is also:
The emergency umbrella rope poem
Even more compact! Even more waterproof!
Carry it anywhere you like! Mutter it to yourself!
Keep it in your head or write it on a piece of paper!
Take it in the bath! Take it to the moon!
You need never be scared or sad or worried again
You need never be without your emergency umbrella rope poem.
Advice From The Utopia Guidance Council:
Find your own utopia.
Make sure that you
do not let it become
your own dystopia.
If you can get it right
you can live there forever.
In the mean time,
I hope that things
get better soon.
If I had a pound for every time I heard someone say:
“If I had a pound for every time I heard someone say,
‘Be careful around recurring themes and symmetry,’
I would be rich beyond all my very wildest dreams.”
I would be rich beyond all my very wildest dreams.