We laid him out on a table and stood on either side, two sides of a simultaneous equation and the body playing the part of the equals sign between us. Everything looked fine – no bones broken, no bleeding, skin in tact. It didn’t seem good enough that it was not possible to just start him up again, in the way we could have rebooted a crashed computer or fixed a broken down car. It seemed so utterly useless that no one had figured out a way to do this thing. After we were angry at the world for its limitations, we got angry with each other for not being able to stop him doing this to himself, and when that burnt out we just got sad together and waited for that to pass as well, to harden into some knot of understanding that we could keep forever.