When we got home from work, the children had taken everything out of the house and put it in the front garden. They were sitting there with their school friends, watching tv. But they hadn’t just moved the sofas and the television, they’d shifted all the kitchen appliances, including the fridge, the oven, all of the work surfaces and built-in cupboards, they had managed to manouevre the washing machine through the house and out of the front door, they had moved the beds, which they must have had to dismantle and then reassemble. All the light fittings and plug sockets were in the kitchen sink, which sat useless on the grass. We didn’t ask them why they had done it. What could they have said? They gave us the silent treatment, and we gave it right back, so we carried on all mutes together. It was too late to start taking things back into the house so we slept out under the sky. Couldn’t even see any stars. It didn’t rain that night, and we all slept well, so we decided to stay outside for another night, and by now we were making small noises and the children had started making small noises too, and we weren’t really angry with them, just disappointed.