By-Product

We wake and find everything is intact and yet there is

We hear the airport is very busy, so we drive up to look. It’s true, there are people everywhere. Now we’ve seen that, we head home. As we head home I try to see in to the eyes of the people driving in the opposite direction.

rubble in the street and on the pavement. Only little piles

On the television the presidents of various countries greet one another. “Hey, well done you!” These men remind us of when we were twelve years old. “I know, I still can’t believe it.” They make us think of our twelve year-old friends‘ ten year-old little brothers. “Isn’t it great?” The way in which they were always a few years behind, unable to catch up, however hard they tried. “Well, don’t you just think so?” Now they look and sound like adults, but you just can’t believe it.

of fun-size, travel edition rubble but where did it come

We used to receive parcels. The music we played used to incense the neighbours. I walk up the road to the postbox, and when I put my hand in I can feel the envelopes piled up high.

from? Some of the rubble is made of the usual ingredients

We theorise, loneliness is present in the gaps between all the people, which is a lot of space and thus a lot of loneliness.  The main ingredient of loneliness is absence, so the effect is there is a whole lack of nothing around.

that make up rubble – rock, concrete, scraps of wire and

There does not seem to be much there, not much at all. It is so incredibly right that we are right.  We are so tired.

metal – but some is rubble of a softer kind, made of things

Last thing, late at night, we whisper, I tell you about the recurring dream I have had since childhood, one that is different each time but vaguely the same nevertheless and which, in each occurrence involves some indefinable effort, some major undertaking, a project which I have just finished. I always wake with the feeling that I have done it completely wrong, that the work must now be reversed and that this is impossible, or seemingly impossible, or at least even more difficult than the original task.

like… the petals detached from flowers? And there is rubble

We set aside a day.  “You know what we haven’t done in ages, we haven’t got giddily drunk in the middle of the afternoon, in the sun.  We only ever seem to get drunk in the dark, as a by-product of socializing.”  “We need to set aside a day, and for that to be the purpose of the day.”  “We should feel free to do that.”  We set aside a day.

that is less tangible, made of… bits, little termite mounds of

In the supermarket, I see an old man making his way down the aisle, writing the name of each product and their current price in a tatty old notebook so that, I assume, he can budget for his shopping from home. The look on his face suggests he has just realised quite how many different things are on sale, just how far he has to go… Actually, there was no such old man – I made that up.

data. We keep seeing these modest little cairns in the street,

Later we saw these men stealing some windows, and we thought, well, we could see right through that ruse. I thought pained laughter. You thought, why don’t you throw a rock at them, then we’ll run away, but we’ll at least have stopped the robbery. I didn’t throw a rock and the men got away with the window, and you looked disappointed, but you didn’t think disappointment and you didn’t say anything.

rubble comprising… tiny pieces of silk and leather, pebbles of

We buy a scratch card in the hope that we will win lots of money and make the world infinitely better. But as you uncover the prize, I collapse into a fit of the giggles… you are using a 20p piece to scrape your way to disappointment.

soft plastic… all of this rubble and yet everything is still intact.
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