There’s a kid on the bus screaming his little head right off, looking round to make sure we all know exactly how awful it all is.

The bus stops and a man gets on, carrying a small dog under his arm.  The kid, wide-eyed with dog, forgets the awfulness and stops screaming.  Man and dog go upstairs and the kid remembers he was in the middle of something, so starts up again.

I wish – and I bet everyone else on the bus does too – that I could turn in to a dog, like in that old programme Woof!  But when I try – and I try really hard – it comes out more like the awful transition from man to wolf in An American Werewolf In London.


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